I moved to Idaho for several reasons, four seasons being an important one. It is now early January, the snow has long melted away, and I am suffering through 50 degree weather. What the hell happened to my winter? I went south to California for three days and came back to a rainy hell not much different than the Humboldt County weather I had just visited: wet and mushy. Soon I’ll find myself surrounded by ferns, redwoods and mildew. Ewww. Okay, maybe not to the ferns and redwoods, but I could do without the perpetual mildew and damp.
As I chased the puppy barefoot through the backyard this morning, I was reminded of why I like snow: Frozen feces. Instead of the occasional questionable squish underfoot, with snow, there’d be a nice solid puppy pile with no smear to it. Plus, I wouldn’t be tempted to venture out without shoes on. Ew. So, where’s my winter? If this is global warming, then it blows monkey-nuts big-time. Wait, is that monkey-nuts or just plain monkey nuts? Either way, I’m not happy. Not at all.
So, here I am in Idaho, and it looks like we are rapidly melting back into fall, or perhaps spring. That gives me, at best, three seasons. If I wanted that, I could have stayed in Humboldt. Please, dear sky, god or nature, snow again, and snow hard. I want to shovel my driveway, chain my tires, and build snow rats in the front yard.
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