(this is NOT a duck. This is a little girl!)
In lieu of blowing s**t upI am going to tell you a joke. Not tell really, but relate. Present? Whatever it id does not matter, as the joke is not very good. Not in the standard sense, that is. Most jokes rely on the juxtaposition of the punchline to the buildup. Not this joke. This is the joke of a six-year-old. It is a post-modern joke, a joke without a punchline.
“But that’s any current U.S. policy, foreign or domestic” you say. Quite true, but this is a post-modern punchline-free joke nonetheless. and from what I can tell, there are no politics to be found in it. the humour relies on the delivery, on the anticipation of and diminishing expectations for the punchline, and on the irony of the mind of a six-year-old. In his mind, this is the funniest joke ever told. As a matter of fact, this should be stated frequently throughout the telling of this joke.
With just a few minor tweaks, it could be, at the least, a minor groaner with just a hint of chuckle. I will let you decide if it needs tweaking, or if delivery by a six-year-old and the attendant enthusiasm given are enough. Of course, you will have to find your own six-year-old to tell you this joke, as I have yet to do an audio blog. Maybe next month. Okay, here is the joke:
A duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “I already told you, we don’t have any grapes.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “Listen duck, no, we don’t have any grapes. If you come in again and ask for grapes, I’m going to nail your beak to the counter.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any gwapes?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
“Oh, okay” says the duck and leaves.
. . . and that’s the end of the joke. Between each duck entry, you need to enthusiastically shout that this is the funniest joke ever and giggle a lot. Or better yet, not tell it. If you are going to tell it, I would at least change the last entry to:
Five minutes later the duck walks into a store, goes up to the manager and asks “Pardon me, but do you have any nails?”
The manager looks at the duck and says “No, we don’t have any nails.”
“In that case, do you have any gwapes?”
So, that is what is occupying the mind of the six-year-old these days. At least it wasn’t the banana/orange knock-knock.
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