Oh, you whacky people! I love the special folks who live here. We’re a fantastic mix of urban and rural, where rural often means half-crazed (or more) racist God freak rather than agrarian. This last election brought them out in full-force, too. On the less crazy side, we have the argument against closing down a leaky refueling depot that sits above the aquifer supplying water to pretty much everyone in the region. Why should we not close it down (or at least complain about it until we feel better about ourselves)? Because there used to be leaking gas tanks elsewhere in the region, and nobody got upset over that, so why should we be allowed to get upset over the depot? So by that logic, why should the Secret Service get upset if someone assassinated the Blunder Twins? After all, I’m sure none of the current crop of agents spent much time getting worked up over Pres. McKinley’s assassination. Damn, it hurts my head trying to use Moron Logic.
Moving on to scary crazy, we’ve got the winner warning us all to stay away from major cities for the next few years. Why? Because those liberal agenda babykilling Democrats are coming! Run! Hide! They’re going to destroy our economy (sorry, I think the President’s insistence on running up an unprecedented debt is going to have a greater effect on the economy), tear down our new border wall (you remember that, don’t you? The partially funded wall that would only cover occasional areas, making it more of a hideous piece of performance art than a wall), invite terrorists to America, and destroy the moral fabric of our very nation (I think he meant that we wouldn’t support pedophilia and corruption as strongly as the Repbulicans do, but I am not positive).
And finally, Jesus crazy: People used to believe the earth was flat, but they were wrong, which is why there is only one true and living God (who loves us all so much he will punish us all for allowing homosexual marriage). Huh? Oh, my head! I think this writer forgot the 11th Commandment: Be neither holier than thou nor an asshat.
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