We saw Eragon today. Having read the book, I was curious how they’d pack everything into just over and hour and a half. Having seen the previews, I was curious as to how cheesy the special effects really would be. I can now safely say that the special effects were as cheesy as they could possibly be, and they packed everything in by cutting out almost every subplot and anything involved in character development. I’d be willing to guess that the screenwriter read a Cliff’s Notes version of the book and that the director wasn’t even aware that there had been a book. Yeah, it was that good. To paraphrase Brom, this movie was 1 part book and 3 parts schmaltz. If you’ve read the book, seeing the movie is just going to piss you off. If you haven’t read the book, you’ll be left wondering what the point is to anything on-screen. Yeah, it was that bad. And once again, since I love paraphrasing . . . Plan 9 From Outer-Space called and they want their “worst movie” title back. Okay, maybe it wasn’t THAT bad. But still . . .
Oliphant Parts
Don’t Eat The Brown Snow
Well that was just horrible. I’ve just finished hot-tubbing and scrubbing every inch of my body in the shower, thanks to a moment of life imitating art. Assuming you can consider the Baby Ruth scene from Caddyshack to be art, that is. Jennie and I were enjoying a nice bit of private time in the hot tub when the chilluns decided to start a snowball fight with us. Unfortunately, one of the snowballs contained a gooey caramel center, and when it landed in the hot tub and melted, we were treated to the sight of a floater.
I knew what it was immediately, but couldn’t stop myself: I had to pick it up and prove it. Yep, poo. I dropped it, which wasn’t such a great idea. Now I had several smaller pieces to bail out of the hot tub with a bucket rather than one big piece to just toss. Oh joy. At least it’s over now. I’ve showered, the hot tub is currently being super-shock treated, and tomorrow I’ll consider cleaning the filter and draining the tub. Thanks, kids.
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