A Weekend of Russian Brides and Erectile Dysfunction

Hopefully nobody received spam from me this weekend. If so, I apologize, and hey, suck it up! I am not sure, but I think my main email account was compromised for a few hours, judging by all of the bounceback messages filling my inbox Saturday morning. Apparently, I was advertising Sexy Russian Brides and various erectile dysfunction meds. Considering that I prefer my brides imaginary and fully support dysfunctional erections, it obviously was not me sending out this crap.

So, how was your weekend? Good, good. Hopefully you were not too embarrassed when KHSU broadcast a story about 14.5 tons of stolen oysters and referred to them as crustaceans. I, of course, was mortified. Everyone knows that oysters are slime molds, not crustaceans. Sorry, that is a Eurostory, so that would 14.4 tonnes, not tons. I have no idea how much that is in coconuts, but am fairly certain that a swallow, European or African, would have some difficulty carrying that many oysters.

I just paid $84 for a tank of gas. The average price, per NPR or whomever KHSU was playing at the time, for a gallon of gas in the U.S. is $3.50. At $4.11 per gallon, we are most definitely above average, but not in a Lake Wobegon way, which sucks most highly. I have started researching electric vehicles, but do not know what to get yet. I am cheap, but would like something that could get me to 6 Rivers Brewery and back. That means freeway speeds and a 20-30 mile range. A wiser me would accept a NEV and make the wife take care of anything that requires traveling further than Trinidad. A NEV would have the range to get me to 6 Rivers, but unless it had off-road capabilities so that I could cruise along the shoreline and avoid the freeway, the speed and safety limitations would make a trip to the brewery illegal. For our main vehicle, I think a hybrid would make more sense than something all-electric, as we do like to take excruciatingly long car trips on occasion.

What else? The boy-child has been on a tea kick of late, which explains why our house is littered with tea bags and wrappers. It would be nice if he would learn how to clean up after himself. I discovered a half-gallon yogurt container full of used tea bags behind the couch last night. Maybe it’s a science experiment . . .

And I realize that the holidays have passed, but I’ve had this delightful Christmas ditty from the Pogues going through my mind all weekend:

“You´re a bum you´re a punk
You´re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse I pray god it´s our last.”

And with that, I wish you all a good week.

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