I’ll eat pie if I want to, pie if I want to . . .
Oliphant Parts
Reframing Reality
Archives: April 2011
Conversations With Myself
Oh Marmaduke, you’re such a card . . . what are you doing no- f**k me, is this thing on? Oh hey there . . . so, what is today’s topic? Oh yeah, California versus Idaho. I like California, I really do. But I also like paying a dollar less per gallon of gas, half per kilowatt of electricity, and not having to dodge piles of shi… feces while walking in public places.
So, California, or more precisely, Humboldt County, California: Majestic redwoods, foggy mornings and sunny afternoons, beautiful windswept beaches, and the mighty banana slug. I do not think I could give up the ocean again. Humboldt is beautiful, but suffers from a poor economic base and the high cost of California living. Everything from land to gas to milk to taxes is more expensive here, even though so many here are poor. Maybe if we weren’t paying $4.47 per gallon of gas, we would have more money for more important things, like cookies.
Idaho, or Coeur d’Alene anyway, is flat and cold and filled with people who believe the current President is a Kenyan Marxist Socialist Nazi Communist Manchurian Candidate (i.e. “the sheriff is near”). It is also quite affordable. And unlike Humboldt, Kootenai County has no shortage of doctors and great libraries. It may not have as many breweries as Humboldt, but it does have Trader Joe’s, Lowes, Home Depot and Spokane, WA nearby. I would sell my wife for a Trader Joe’s in my area (hey, TJ’s people, are you listening?) . . .
If I switch to driving a UEV and move the family into one of these, California might just match Idaho on the affordability front. Idaho will never match California on the oceanfront and banana slug front, however.
Lost Weekend
It’s Monday again, innit? Damn. ‘Twas a lost weekend, as far as I am concerned. Saturday we raced the kids around to social events and repeatedly cleaned the goldfish tank, which was filling nicely with an algal bloom. If the goldfish could talk, I am sure he would have echoed the sentiments of Kermit. Sunday was stress day, followed by chasing the sheep in the rain for a few hours. No, you sick buggers, not for that . . . we had to vaccinate and tag lambs. Eventually the wife snapped, and we gave up on that exciting adventure. At least we all ended up covered in mud and smelling of sheep. That has to count for something, right?
What-ever
Drinking away the moments that make up a work day
You stagger and puke the hours in an awkward way.
Stumbling around on a piece of ground in your home bar
Waiting for someone or something to blow you away . . .
Some Days . . .
Not only do I smell like goat, but some days I feel like him. Fortunately, the exhausted, vomiting girl-child lying on the couch behind me shows me that it could be worse.
Better(ish)
The vomiting is over, the bathroom dashes are at an end and the burning in the pit of my stomach has subsided to a dull ache. Yay. I am a wimp, I suppose, but I do not like the flu, and I very much do not like losing my weekend. I was ready for the sunshine, ready for something other than a weekend lying in bed and smelling much less than fresh. And considering that we may have a full septic tank, which makes every flush an adventure, I had better things to do.
And since I am complaining already, $1097.00 to interpret a single X-Ray? Really? Oh well . . . it’s not like I had anything better to do with that money. Hopefully, at some point part of the $1097.00 will include actually discussing it with me.
With Apologies to Natalie Merchant
I was inspired. After an afternoon feeling queasy, making poor dietary choices and finding that a walk to the beach is too far, I pulled myself together and spent the night doing springs, modified crunches, performing glute exercises and practicing my warrior cry. I was full-tilt, dashing in darkness, boxers and bucket and a prayer in my heart. Oh dear dogs, please don’t be in my path . . . (more…)
Happy Birthday, Kung Fool Panda!
Our little Panda is now one year old. I would show a picture of him today, but he’s been hanging out in the dirt and REALLY needs a bath. I know there is some white under there somewhere, under all that grey and brown and maybe even a little algae green . . .
And since he is now almost as wide as he is tall, he looks kind of like a tick. Oh little Panda, don’t get wedged between the trees . . . (more…)
You are my love, you are my dreams, you are my everything
There are many advantages to a home office: Short commute, no gas costs, no traffic jams, a comfortable work environment, no pants . . . Unfortunately, there are also disadvantages. The refrigerator is only a short walk away. It is easy to forget to shower, or even get dressed for the day. Six dogs in a small house inevitably leads to the overwhelming aroma of dog flatulence . . . (more…)
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