Starfish at low tide says "Relax, dummy!"

When I was growing up, General Electric claimed “We Bring Good Things To Life.” Sometime in the last decade or so, they must have accepted that this is not always so, as now they offer “imagination at work.” So, does providing a risky containment field count as “imagination at work” or as “bring(ing) good things to life”? Either way, I would have thought that forty years would be enough time for GE to focus a little less on imagination and a little more on reality. And to maybe consider that risking bringing an end to lives, good or otherwise, might not be such a good thing. (pssst! There’s a NAUGHTY WORD later in this post (although in all fairness, it is balanced out by being attached to a picture of kittens), so don’t click on the continue link if you are offended by NAUGHTY WORDS!!!!!!!1!!!ONE!!!ELEVENTY!!!

And because PANIC!!!!! is the American Way, thank you Surgeon General Regina Benjamin for your well-considered words of wisdom at a time when others might call for calm and rationality. Really, let us repeat the excitement of the anthrax threats of ’01 and urge everyone to make a run on duct tape and plastic sheeting. (note to self: Start selling plastic sheeting on eBay, claim it is lead-lined for your comfort and protection. Maybe lead-lined adult diapers as well, so everyone crapping their pants right now can feel that much safer. Is there time to get them Astronaut-endorsed?)

So, for anyone who listened to the Surgeon General rather than calmer voices, here are some kittens someone posted just for you:
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Since we had no power, we spent the morning at the Beachcomber Cafe in Trinidad and occasionally wandered over to the old lighthouse to join the crowds gathered there to see the sea. It did many sea-like things. What it did not do was come rushing in and wash away the Trinidad pier. No destruction is a good thing, considering how many houses are built on or below sea level in Eureka and Arcata and in between.

And now, back to work.

So, how was your weekend? Good, good. Hopefully you were not too embarrassed when KHSU broadcast a story about 14.5 tons of stolen oysters and referred to them as crustaceans. I, of course, was mortified. Everyone knows that oysters are slime molds, not crustaceans. Sorry, that is a Eurostory, so that would 14.4 tonnes, not tons. I have no idea how much that is in coconuts, but am fairly certain that a swallow, European or African, would have some difficulty carrying that many oysters.

I just paid $84 for a tank of gas. The average price, per NPR or whomever KHSU was playing at the time, for a gallon of gas in the U.S. is $3.50. At $4.11 per gallon, we are most definitely above average, but not in a Lake Wobegon way, which sucks most highly. I have started researching electric vehicles, but do not know what to get yet. I am cheap, but would like something that could get me to 6 Rivers Brewery and back. That means freeway speeds and a 20-30 mile range. A wiser me would accept a NEV and make the wife take care of anything that requires traveling further than Trinidad. A NEV would have the range to get me to 6 Rivers, but unless it had off-road capabilities so that I could cruise along the shoreline and avoid the freeway, the speed and safety limitations would make a trip to the brewery illegal. For our main vehicle, I think a hybrid would make more sense than something all-electric, as we do like to take excruciatingly long car trips on occasion.

What else? The boy-child has been on a tea kick of late, which explains why our house is littered with tea bags and wrappers. It would be nice if he would learn how to clean up after himself. I discovered a half-gallon yogurt container full of used tea bags behind the couch last night. Maybe it’s a science experiment . . .

And I realize that the holidays have passed, but I’ve had this delightful Christmas ditty from the Pogues going through my mind all weekend:

“You´re a bum you´re a punk
You´re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse I pray god it´s our last.”

And with that, I wish you all a good week.

Some days you learn way more than you ever wanted to know, whether it be about home remedies for depression, or the latest in yoghurt toppings.

I am still trying to decide if the PT article is an attempt to convince women to have more unprotected sex with psychologists (“Hey baby, what’s your sign? Want a little injection of antidepressant?”) or completely serious. Somehow I missed the sourced article in Scientific American, although I am guessing it was only in the online version, not the print version.

As for Mr. Yoghurt, all I can say is I hope you have developed a taste for the stuff, because you are probably going to be receiving your own tainted samples in prison. Sorry dude, but what you did is WRONG!

And as disgusting as Yoghurt Love was, the majority of the commenters on both of the yoghurt links are just as offensive and wrong. They bounce between claiming she deserved it because she can identify the taste of semen, and claiming that, with a last name of Garcia, of course he is going to do something like this be he is obviously here illegally. I am not sure if these people fall into the category of stupid or evil, or if it is a bit of both. First, no person, deserves to be assaulted, sexually or otherwise. There is no dress code that excuses rape or assault. Neither is there a conduct code.

As for identifying someone’s legal status in this country — really, are you that stupid? Even if he were here illegally, which is not stated in the article and should not be an issue, how does that make it more likely that he would do something like this? Illegal immigrants manage to stay here by avoiding possible confrontations with the law. Donating to the Jizz of the Month club is not an inconspicuous action. Assholes who hate women do this sort of thing, which is a description that crosses nationalities and residency statuses. This was not about immigration, this was about power and hate.

So let us have a quiz. If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, congratulations!- your a complete and utter douche:
1. A woman deserves whatever happens to her if she is dressed alluringly.
2. A woman deserves whatever happens to her if she is sexually active.
3. A woman deserves whatever happens to her if she can identify semen.
4. You can tell whether someone should be in this country or not by their name.
5. You find slipping a little sperm into other people’s food amusing.

Hopefully everyone I know scores a zero on today’s quiz.

You are wasting our majority and any chance at real reform. Compromise with the self-branded “party of no” does not do anything other than prove that we are not serious about reform. Really, are we trying to pass reform, or is this all just posturing to try to appease those of us in the party who hoped for change? It’s starting to feel like Max Baucus and the rest of the insurance company shills are the only ones who have a voice in this. Let’s ignore the birthers, baggers and bitters and just reform health care. No compromise, no consensus building, just fix it. And when you’re done, maybe pull your collective head out of your collective ass and drop this anti-Acorn nonsense. Surely there’s a Dem somewhere between the White House, Senate and House with a spine.

1. Avoid the DMV if you have a warrant out for your arrest.
   I had to renew my license this morning (thanks, Idaho, for not sending out renewal notices. Yeah, that policy won’t cause more people to drive around with expired licenses). While paying for my license, several police officers rushed in and grabbed a woman who was taking a test. Hmm . . . so all of the employees are wearing shirts emblazoned with “Kootenai County Sheriff’s Department” and you’ve just given the woman at the counter your license information, yet you’re still surprised when the police show up to arrest you for a Failure To Appear. It’s a puzzler how they figured out where you were, isn’t it?
2. Maybe wait a few months if you were thinking of outing yourself as a Furrie.
   Thanks to a penchant for partying like a panda, this guy is probably not going to reflect well on your newfound hobby. At least he wasn’t banging white bitches screwing the pooch (yes, I updated that after realizing it was malamutes, not samoyeds. You’d think that at least some of the 13 years I spent working in a veterinary hospital would have stuck with me). Um, ick? Yeah, still not a positive furry role model. Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned yiffpile?

Our local farmers’ markets should be starting up soon, which will be nice. Fresh lamb, and all those veggies we forgot to plant, or just cannot get to grow — yum! Some year soon we will have our own stall at the market, selling lamb, chicken, eggs and knapweed (our most successful crop ever!). The kids could start a side business, selling the rotten eggs to their friends.

Oh right, here’s how they came up with $700 billion — they pulled it out of their collective ass.