I was inspired. After an afternoon feeling queasy, making poor dietary choices and finding that a walk to the beach is too far, I pulled myself together and spent the night doing springs, modified crunches, performing glute exercises and practicing my warrior cry. I was full-tilt, dashing in darkness, boxers and bucket and a prayer in my heart. Oh dear dogs, please don’t be in my path . . . (more…)
Oliphant Parts
Reframing Reality
Categories: Poetry
Dreaming of You
And I am dreaming of you
and all the things that you do
and I know that it’s true
because when I come to
I am SCREAMING!!!!!!!!
and all the things that you do
and I know that it’s true
because when I come to
I am SCREAMING!!!!!!!!
Feel the Love
Break My Fingers If I Get Poetic Again
Stare into the noonday sun
and feel the heat upon me
I used to know a girl who turned me ’round
crazy and beautiful and a little bit scary
she stole my heart away.
Days pass by, the girl is gone
nothing but memories of yesterday.
Thinking back on early love
it’s easy to dismiss
feelings that were once so strong
no more than a shadow’s kiss today.
Stare into the noonday sun
and feel the heat upon me
These days I know a woman who’s turned me ’round
crazy and beautiful and much more scary
she steals my heart away.
Days pass by and I wonder
will she become just memories too?
Or is this what I’ll look upon
years from this time now
and realize these feelings
are the ones that do not fade away.
The one constant in life we can always count on is that I will hurt you
Oh hey! It’s a crappy poetry day! I need to get out more, I think. I see the sun shining through the blinds, but I’m sitting here with bad lighting, pain and a seriously funky attitude just beyond the sunbeams.
Yes you’re beautiful
and I love you so
Too bad I have to lie
and never tell you though
If the truth sets you free
I’ll spend my life in slavery
Fearful of what you’d say
or what you thought of me
You are so beautiful
it hurts to know
I always want to hold you
but I cannot do so
You’ll never be mine,
I’ll always be yours
silently waiting
for a love that doesn’t know
Destroy me, caress me
Set me free, please
I don’t know how much longer
I can live with thoughts like these
Yes you’re beautiful
and I love you so.
Three Shots
I pour a tall shot,
three ounces of Tarantula,
then cut a thick wedge of lime.
Giving it a lick,
the base of my hand is prepared
for the requisite salt dash.
All is ready now:
My salted hand, a shot, and lime.
I pause and take a quick breath.
When I was younger,
the shot would have been Cuervo Gold
or something equally harsh.
I am older now,
and have learned that a tequila
needn’t be a punishment.
Lips to salted hand,
I lick, anticipating now
the mix of flavours coming.
The shot glass tipped back,
tequila spreads across my tongue
and then I swallow slowly.
Biting the lime wedge,
my center fills with spreading warmth
and I prepare the next shot.
Swine Flu X 2
the boy has swine flu
vomit on his sheets today
parenting is great
—
the girl has it too
which end is exploding now?
working from home sucks
Such Bloody Awful Poetry
I call this “Killing Time.” Either because I’m killing time writing this crap, or because you’ll want to kill me just to get me to stop. Either way, here’s some poo-etry.
“Blissful Sleep”
Lonely, horny, waiting for morning
your snoring is boring
I want to sleep again
but I can’t.
A freight train in bed
thund’rous snores again
and me without earplugs
to stick in my head.
Have you considered sleeping
standing on your feet,
lying in the tube
or out on the street?
Good god, woman!
How does a sound so large
come from a hole so small?
—
(more…)
An ode to 6 Rivers
Hello stranger
why are you here?
go back home
or bring me beer.
You are not my friend
nor my confidant
if you can’t find me
the beer I want.
So run on home
now that’s an order
and don’t return
without Kona Moon Porter!
I need the beer that makes me strong
the beer that leaves me weak
the sobering beer
so full of good cheer
I could drink it all week.
(Okay, I was pushing things a bit there using homonyms at the end. I am not a poet, dammit!)
Tiger a-la Lils
Never invite a tiger to tea
for it will want some meat
but if you do not give it some
you are what it will eat.
(more from the boy . . .)
The lion’s more vicious
and finds you delicious
regardless of whether
you serve meat with your tea.
Telecommuter’s Blues (a.k.a. Crazy Shawna)
I’m just killing time
waiting for time to kill me
sitting at my desk
surfing patienly
what’s the point of being online
when you’ve nothing left to do?
my boss has left me all alone
for the past month or two
and so I wait
and wait and wait
and when I’m done
I’ll wait some more
outside it’s warm and sunny
inside it’s hot and stuffy
my fan does not approximate
the cooling breeze I want
there’s got to be more to do today
than sit
and surf
and masturbate
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