Category Archives: Whatever

DOMA

Gay marriage, or as most people call it, marriage, isn’t a threat to straight marriage; human biology and economic uncertainty are. Ban hormones and restore, say, the tax rates of the 1950’s. And maybe take a serious look at your life decisions if you feel threatened by gay marriage. Perhaps your inner fabulous is trying to tell you something about what kind of marriage you should really be in.

p.s. — Don’t ban hormones. That would be even stupider than DOMA.

p.p.s — I misused that semicolon in the first sentence, didn’t I?

Feeling Blue

The Getty has a special installation that I would like to see. Too bad my grandfather and I have a lifetime ban. It’s been forty years — do you think they’ll remember me? Or does Getty security age photographs to make sure those disruptive small children do not return decades later as potentially disruptive adults? I’ve grown a bit since I was four . . .

The Dark Side

My conversion to the Dark Side is complete. I watched my wife go over and scoffed at her, how easily-led she was, how willing to lock herself in to a predetermined path. Then came Vally, showing me the power and ease of using the dark side. I liked my freedom, liked being able to do things my own way and on my own terms, but the structured world they offered was tempting.

XP on Mac?  Are you f**king kidding me?

Something is seriously wrong with you, boy . . .

After years of struggling on my own, dealing with the aftermath of unmatched freedom and competing ideas, I finally did it: I bought my own MacBook Pro and joined the Dark Side. And I have to say, I love it. A trackpad that actually works? A trackpad that provides useful navigation and input? What novel ideas! A UI that is stable, and programs that don’t mysteriously crash or include text that matches the background (I’m looking at YOU, VLC on LXDE!!!)? What a novel idea! Yes, I still love my various Linux laptops, but I think I’m stuck in the beauty and simplicity of the Mac world for a while now. I’d better be, now that I have the wireless trackpad, keyboard and number pad.

Conversations With Myself

Oh Marmaduke, you’re such a card . . . what are you doing no- f**k me, is this thing on? Oh hey there . . . so, what is today’s topic? Oh yeah, California versus Idaho. I like California, I really do. But I also like paying a dollar less per gallon of gas, half per kilowatt of electricity, and not having to dodge piles of shi… feces while walking in public places.

So, California, or more precisely, Humboldt County, California: Majestic redwoods, foggy mornings and sunny afternoons, beautiful windswept beaches, and the mighty banana slug. I do not think I could give up the ocean again. Humboldt is beautiful, but suffers from a poor economic base and the high cost of California living. Everything from land to gas to milk to taxes is more expensive here, even though so many here are poor. Maybe if we weren’t paying $4.47 per gallon of gas, we would have more money for more important things, like cookies.

Idaho, or Coeur d’Alene anyway, is flat and cold and filled with people who believe the current President is a Kenyan Marxist Socialist Nazi Communist Manchurian Candidate (i.e. “the sheriff is near”). It is also quite affordable. And unlike Humboldt, Kootenai County has no shortage of doctors and great libraries. It may not have as many breweries as Humboldt, but it does have Trader Joe’s, Lowes, Home Depot and Spokane, WA nearby. I would sell my wife for a Trader Joe’s in my area (hey, TJ’s people, are you listening?) . . .

If I switch to driving a UEV and move the family into one of these, California might just match Idaho on the affordability front. Idaho will never match California on the oceanfront and banana slug front, however.

What-ever

Drinking away the moments that make up a work day
You stagger and puke the hours in an awkward way.

Stumbling around on a piece of ground in your home bar
Waiting for someone or something to blow you away . . .

You are my love, you are my dreams, you are my everything

There are many advantages to a home office: Short commute, no gas costs, no traffic jams, a comfortable work environment, no pants . . . Unfortunately, there are also disadvantages. The refrigerator is only a short walk away. It is easy to forget to shower, or even get dressed for the day. Six dogs in a small house inevitably leads to the overwhelming aroma of dog flatulence . . . Continue reading

Search Terms

Well this is disturbing: Two of the top five searches used to reach my site appear to be attempts to get to child pornography, beating out the search for “flushmaster plungers.” I wish the stats page would show who actually did these searches. I guess I could look through my access logs, but that would require too much effort on my part. Anyway, for you folks trying to get to “preteens” and “preteen Topanga” you have reached the wrong site. Unless you are here to hear me discuss my preteen days in Topanga, sacking up for nude tennis. If so, you’re welcome. And for the rest of you, I will try to make brain bleach available to rinse that image from your minds.