Every day, millions of lights across this country are needlessly left on, the result of CCFR. Every day, millions of watts of energy are wasted. Every day, dishes are left scattered across the table and counter, muddy footprints are tracked through houses, and family pets go without water. All the result of CCFR. CCFR, or Children Can’t F***ing Remember, strikes almost every household in America, afflicting at least 99.99999999999997%, and possibly up to 300% of all children under the age of 27. This debilitating illness must be stopped. And with your help, it will.

For an initial donation of $59.99, you will receive your own Child Motivator Stick, 16 inches of lovely polished oak, inset with attractive brass studs in the head. This heirloom quality tool, when gently applied to the backside of a child afflicted with CCFR, will remind them to remember, overcoming the CFR portion of CCFR.

After you have received your Child Motivator Stick, you can continue with the program for $20 per month, receiving timely emails and notices on when and how to help motivate your child to remember. No more skateboards on the stairs. No more pizza slices in the couch. Your child, like tens of others in our great nation, will finally overcome near-terminal laziness, and finally remember. So please, give to Stop CCFR. Do it for the children.

Sears is an interesting company. They delivered a brand new dryer on Friday, complete with rusted gouges on the body. Most companies would send undamaged merchandise, or offer to repair the damage. Sears, bold pioneers that they are, have chosen instead to offer to send me a bottle of touch-up paint and their thanks for choosing Sears. I am not sure that the business strategy of instilling ill-will in their customers is such a wise one, but to each their own.

Edge of BRAND NEW Kenmore dryer, including gouges and rust.

Were this the first problem with Sears, I might be willing to chalk it up to a lousy customer service person. However, as this is just the latest in a string of problems with Sears, and the washer and dryer they were to have delivered on March 1, I have to consider that Sears is not a company that I would trust purchasing anything from again. Ever. I purchased a Kenmore stackable washer and dryer, and stacking kit, on February 10, 2012. Because my gas supply is propane (LPG), I had to purchase the LPG conversion kit as well, and agreed to a $119.99 dryer installation fee so that the installer could convert the dryer from natural gas to LPG. To be sure, I confirmed at the time of order that the installer would indeed be converting the dryer from natural gas to LPG.

I should have realized as soon as I received my receipt that there was going to be a problem: The dryer, with its installation on top of the washer, was scheduled for delivery and installation on February 13, and the washer, stacking kit and LPG conversion kit were scheduled for delivery on February 14. How they planned on installing the conversion kit before it arrived, or planned on stacking the dryer on top of the not-yet-arrived washer was beyond me. This was shortly after I placed my order, and after checking with my contractor and discovering that we should probably wait a few weeks before having the washer and dryer delivered, I called Sears back to reschedule the delivery for a time that was more convenient for the contractor, March 1. I also suggested that since the dryer was to be converted to LPG and stacked on top of the washer, perhaps the dryer could be delivered AFTER the washer. This, Sears informed me, would be fine.

Both Sears delivery service and Sears installation service called me on February 29. The washer and accessories were scheduled to be delivered around noon the following day, the dryer to be delivered and installed a little before then. I mentioned to the installer that the washer would not be delivered until after the dryer and he decided that he would wait for the washer to be delivered first. I also reminded him that the dryer needed to be converted to LPG. This was the first he had heard of this, and was beyond what he normally does for installation. Because of this, he said he needed to call Sears and would call me back shortly. The washer and accessories were delivered March 1. The dryer was not. Neither was the call back from the installer.

I called the handy Sears installation number a day or two later, and after a little over an hour talking with various people and receiving many apologies, I was told that the dryer would be delivered, most likely on Monday, March 5, and yes, they knew I needed it converted to LPG. The installer would take care of that. Rather than have me continue to hold, I was told at that time I would be called back shortly for an estimated delivery time. Like the call back from the installer, the installation service people failed to actually call me back. The installer himself did call me, however, on Monday evening to let me know he would be delivering and installing the dryer the next morning, March 6.

March 6 passed, without a delivery or installation person in site. March 7 passed, without a delivery or installation person in site. March 8 passed, without a delivery or installation person in site. While no delivery or installation person was in site, he at least made it to the phone on March 8: The engine in his truck had apparently blown, and he could not make the delivery on March 6. He would, however, be delivering my dryer in the morning, March 9. Yay!

The dryer was delivered, March 9. At this point, the installer stated that he does not perform LPG conversions, and because the dryer cannot be hooked up, he could not install it. He filled out the paperwork and noted that because the dryer was not converted, he could not install it. I signed it so we could get a refund started on the installation fee. All of which begs the question: Why was I not originally told that the Sears installation person could not perform the installation of the conversion kit? Had Sears mentioned something in the several calls previously where it was discussed, I would have not purchased the $119.99 dryer installation and would not have been annoyed by their inability to perform the installation service that I had paid for. I would have instead contacted my propane supplier, Sequoia Gas, and paid to have them perform the conversion, which is a service they offer.

This entire experience has left me with a rather disinclined to recommend Sears to anyone I know who might be making an appliance purchase, as at present I have a dryer that is not installed, cannot be used until I pay another company to perform the conversion that Sears was supposed to take care of, cost me $119.99 over list price, and wondering whether it would be better to contact the Better Business Bureau and Ripoff Reports. I have contacted Sears, both about the conversion and installation issue and the rust issue. For the rust, they are shipping out some appliance touch-up paint so that I can hide the rust for a while. For the installation and conversion, they are supposed to get back to me in the next few days to discuss what happened and hopefully refund the installation fee. If it is refunded, I will accept that I have a rusty dryer and cannot trust Sears to stand behind their products. If it is not, I will send a letter to my credit card company to dispute the charges and contact both the Better Business Bureau and Ripoff Report. If, by some miracle, Sears realizes that perhaps customers would rather receive undamaged merchandise when they buy something new and either send someone out to fix the rust and scratch issue or replace the dryer as well as refund my installation fee, I will consider shopping at Sears again and updating this to reflect the suddenly improved customer service. I won’t hold my breath for this last option, however.

It’s said to be a metaphor
for how you see the world
how is your life?- full of joy?
or is it full of sorrow?

A simple glass,
half full
or half empty
determines who you are.

If you treat it as a simile
your life (or are we talking me?)
is like that simple glass there
and beverage floating free.

Is it full of sorrow?
Are you consumed with pain?
Is there no tomorrow?
Or are you right as rain?

Now me, I love the sunshine
and all the simple things
My life is generally happiness
and the kiss of butterfly wings.

Some days though I start to realize
there is both pleasure and pain
it’s not a glass, half full or empty
but just two side of one thin coin
their differences rarely plain.

As I stare into this empty glass
what I really need to know is
while you’ve kept me talking here
who’s been drinking my damned beer?

My conversion to the Dark Side is complete. I watched my wife go over and scoffed at her, how easily-led she was, how willing to lock herself in to a predetermined path. Then came Vally, showing me the power and ease of using the dark side. I liked my freedom, liked being able to do things my own way and on my own terms, but the structured world they offered was tempting.

Something is seriously wrong with you, boy . . .

After years of struggling on my own, dealing with the aftermath of unmatched freedom and competing ideas, I finally did it: I bought my own MacBook Pro and joined the Dark Side. And I have to say, I love it. A trackpad that actually works? A trackpad that provides useful navigation and input? What novel ideas! A UI that is stable, and programs that don’t mysteriously crash or include text that matches the background (I’m looking at YOU, VLC on LXDE!!!)? What a novel idea! Yes, I still love my various Linux laptops, but I think I’m stuck in the beauty and simplicity of the Mac world for a while now. I’d better be, now that I have the wireless trackpad, keyboard and number pad.

I went to sleep last night with the warmth of August and awoke to a cold house and a day of bright skies and bitter winds. That, and the piles of freshly-fallen redwood leaves tells me that summer left with Vally and fall is upon us. Goodbye, summer. Goodbye, Vally. Hello, harsh days of glare and cold and emptiness.

Vally in our hearts

Today’s invasive terror brought to you by the colour yellow.

Saturday is my day for quiet reflection and self-aggrandizing pomposity. Saturday is the day I ask the Big Questions. Why am I here?^* Have I led a good life?^** Where the hell did I leave my book? Seriously, where is my book? I have been desperate for something to read for weeks, and yesterday discovered the boy-child’s copy of “The Last Olympian” tucked in to the back pocket of the B.A.T.’s passenger-side front seat. And now I have misplaced it. I have already read my latest Linux Journal twice, Scientific American three times, and the ingredients list and nutrition facts on the back of the Trader Joe’s Organic lowfat Yogurt container (which the girl-child uses to feed the largest dog) too many times to count. I need a book, stat!

Some day soon I need to find my way to a local library. I have not gone so far due to an unfortunate combination of circumstances: 1. I am lazy, and 2. I am too depressed when I compare the libraries here to the marvelous libraries in Kootenai County, Idaho. And I tend to procrastinate. And I am really lazy. Sigh . . .

I keep hoping for the whole Nook/Kindle/eReader lending library mess to shake out so that I can use an eLibrary, but so far, nothing seems to be happening. I guess then that it is time to go back to the Deep Thoughs and Big Questions and ask if 9:17am might not be too early to put on some pants already and step outside and enjoy the world.

Oh hey — the boy-child the book under his pillow. No need for pants or the great outdoors for now. Yay!

* Okay, probably more likely just “What’s for breakfast?”
** Okay, probably more likely just “Didn’t I already pee this morning?”

Screaming Head Laughing

This is but one of several heads mounted along the walls of my grandfather’s house. They used to scare the hell out of me when I was younger.

It did not help that my grandfather would tell a story of how the house was built by a father and son and that the heads, mounted along the wall (which appear to either be laughing or screaming, depending on my mood), are supposedly meant to look like the father, murdered by his son.

I love my grandfather, although the story he told was probably completely false. The house was most likely built by sadistic elves who liked to give small children horrible dreams.

Busted by Mutton

Poor Aaron has a love/hate relationship with sheep: He loves the way they taste, but hates the way they always want to trample him into dust. So with that in mind, here is his exciting 2006 Mutton Bustin’ ride. All 5 seconds or so of it.

[Show as slideshow]