Another day, another Repug sex scandal. No teen boys this time a-la Mark Foley, but rather a grimy public restroom and hopes of sweaty man-lovin’ a-la Bob Allen. Although the twist here is that our home-state anti-hero is actually the original Bob Allen, having made his grasp for the golden cock-ring a month before Rep. Allen. Unfortunately, this being Idaho, nobody realized who he was until two months later. Yes, for those of you without t.v., radio, newspaper or internet access, Idaho’s own gay-bashing Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig pled guilty to charges of lewd conduct after being caught in a sex sting at a Minnesota airport.

As long as it is legal, I don’t think that sexual orientation should be a consideration, whether in politics or elsewhere in life. Heck, assuming it was consensual, Larry could do late-night pickups with howler monkeys and ground squirrels for all I care. What I cannot stand is the self-loathing, hypocrisy and downright stupidity. Why do the manloving repugs have to work so hard to prove they are anti-gay, pushing as much hate legislation as possible and just being offensive in general? Just deal with it! Either accept who you are and man-up, or suppress it entirely and quit making life worse for other gays and less risky for you and your beard.

Which brings me to stupidity. If you are going to engage in risky behavior, likely endangering not only your health, but your beard’s wife’s as well, do it a little smarter. Public restrooms are not the place to meet the day’s ManSnack! If you want to slide down that pole or feel the call of the hershey highway, use a legitimate hookup and a motel. What the hell do you think Craigslist is for? Or, if you want more structure, AFF? I’m sure there’s even a ButtPounders.com, ArseFinders.com or SweatyManLove.com out there somewhere. Heck, check the local classifieds. Not only does one of these sources and a motel reservation reduce the chances you will be making passes at cops, but it gives you the chance to do your thing without the rest of us finding out and getting stuck on the “eww!” factor of the location.

So Senator Craig, good luck in your next career, thank you for reinforcing my stereotype of Repugnicans (your party’s initials do stand for Gay Old Perverts, correct?), and may your next replacement, straight, gay or monkeylovin’, not be such a hateful hypocrite. Yes, I know this is Idaho, so we’re probably going to end up with someone just like you or just a little bit worse, but I can still dream.