Finally, Joe Cocker makes sense:

My Linux laptop was murdered today. Video now consists of a black screen with several white horizontal lines. I am fairly confident that the boy-child is the culprit. Grrrr. I’d be more annoyed, but I am currently preoccupied with a shower faucet that has decided to turn into a fountain. Joy.

The girl-child and wife are in the Tri-cities area for some sort of horse training seminar, so the boy-child and I are enjoying a mellow rainy weekend at home. We watched Kung Fu Panda yesterday and he spent the rest of the day playing Metal Blob Solid and SuperTuxKart. It’s going to be a shock when we get a real video game console and he gets to play games that don’t have penguins, blobs and beta gaming engines.

Oh joy, Tom Delay is making news again. Might as well link to his first blog attempt, then. Shouldn’t he be in prison by now?

Only one more week until we haul the kids up to Vancouver and then ship them off to Alaska. I’m almost glad that we aren’t going with them for that final bit of the journey, as I am fairly confident the girl-child will be seasick most of the trip. On the way up, we will hopefully see Tanya and Jeanie. And, since the bastards still refuse to open up in Spokane, Trader Joe’s in either Seattle or Bellingham.

Maybe 40 is old after all. I spent 5 minutes this morning searching for my cell phone. It took a bit longer than usual to find it as I had only one hand free to sift through newspapers on the table, clothes scattered on the bed, etc. in my quest for the phone. My other hand was otherwise unavailable, holding my cell phone.

There are benefits to getting older. My children seem to be aging as well, so now I’ve got yard-slaves. Sure, they are even lazier than I was at that age, but I can usually get one of them to mow at least half a lawn and maybe pull some weeds. I would say my kids and their peers are a bunch of spoiled brats — the worst ever — but I am pretty sure (assuming you believe the Christian creation myth) that the first parents to make that statement were Adam and Eve. And every generation of parents since have echoed that sentiment. So, are they really that bad, or is it that with age and wisdom comes self-delusion and selective memory?

Actually, Adam and Eve, the incestuous freaks that begat us all*, were children of God. Perhaps credit for first complaining about “kids these days” should go to him. In spite of all their flaws, my children are quite biblical. They are constantly tromping through the garden (usually crushing garlic or seedlings), and come summer, I’m pretty sure they’ll be out there stealing apples. We don’t seem to have any snakes around us, so they will have to content themselves talking to wasps instead — we have plenty of those. My son may not be able to walk on water or turn water into wine, but he is a whiz at turning water into urine and passing water on the roses. And every time I find my tools and various pieces of once-useful lumber out in the yard, both children are as innocent as lambs.

* Yes, I am once again making an assumption that you either believe the Goddite stuff or have at least heard the fables.

There are some sick kids out there. Monday afternoon swim practice for the chilluns began with the discovery of poo in the pool. It seems the team that had just finished up decided to leave a prize for our team. The saddest part is that the turds left behind are probably the best swimmers on their team.

It’s Monday and I have two flatulent dogs at my feet. Yes, this is the good life. It could only get better if my kids were Morans.

Spring is here and I’ve been busy. My weed garden is coming along splendidly, and the boy-child has almost figured out what NOT to mow over. Speaking of boy children, his shoes fell apart this weekend. I’m not sure how, exactly, but he asked for his new shoes this morning. Apparently Jennie knew about this, but we chose to spend a lazy Sunday watching movies and swapping bunkbeds. So the boy is at school in shoes with no soles. Are we awesome parents, or what? Okay, don’t answer that.

So, five more days of school for the boy-child and eight more days of school for the girl-child. You’d think by now that they would have figured out to check for clothes sometime before it was time to head off for school. And you’d be wrong. To be fair, I haven’t suggested that they set out their clothes the night before for almost three days now, and usually only make the suggestion twice a week or so. Next year, when the girl-child is required to keep an organizer, is going to be so much fun! One more thing to frantically search for in the mornings.

This is what I get for posting about good weather: The skies just opened up and it is now alternating between a torrential downpour and a violent hailstorm, with the constant rumble of thunder in the background. I think I’ll hold off on sneaking out to do some planting this afternoon.

Time passes quickly when you’re having fun. Or when you’re bogged down in work and can’t see daylight. Yes, it’s been almost two months since my last post and all I can think of is that I am exhausted. I am also fifteen pounds lighter, but that’s just because I forget to get up sometimes.

Spring may finally be here; it hasn’t snowed in a week now and the weather’s been quite pleasant. Also, things are blooming everywhere. Especially the algae in the pool. What else is new? Well, I am 40, we have chickens and the guppies moved out today. I hope they like their new home outdoors.