Gay marriage, or as most people call it, marriage, isn’t a threat to straight marriage; human biology and economic uncertainty are. Ban hormones and restore, say, the tax rates of the 1950’s. And maybe take a serious look at your life decisions if you feel threatened by gay marriage. Perhaps your inner fabulous is trying to tell you something about what kind of marriage you should really be in.
p.s. — Don’t ban hormones. That would be even stupider than DOMA.
p.p.s — I misused that semicolon in the first sentence, didn’t I?