Last night was the coming out party for our I. She was beaten and tattered, abandoned in our back shop. Unable to care for her, we had to give her up in September. After a few days on Craigslist, drawing out the crazies, we were contacted by Tiffany, a Spokane artist. Tiffany planned on painting the I with things that begin with the letter I, which seemed a much better choice than my plan on continuing to hurl words that begin with F at the I every time I had to move her out of the way.

Tiffany and her partner came by a few days later and took the I home with them. All was quiet until last week, when we received the invitation to the Incognito I Party, held in Neato Burrito. Being the great patrons of the arts that we are, and knowing that the Baby Bar was just down the hall, we drew on our moustaches and headed out to the party. It was great fun, although one of us (not me) had a few too many drinks and spent the night in the bath tub.

So, what are the I words? Well, there are Insects, Ice Cream, Imprisoned (bird), Incandescent Idea, Iron, Identical Twins Innertubing, Implant (teeth), Indian girl with Internal Organs, Impala In Love with Indian Girl, Incognito (girl disguised as furry monster), Inhaler (in hand of Indian girl with internal organs) and Idaho. I’ll leave it to you to put the label to the pictures. I also apologize for the flare, but it was quite dim in the I’s new home, and I couldn’t use just ambient light. I think the I is quite happy. And if I can find the original photos, I can show you her humble beginnings.

Here are the responses that failed to bed the I, from our Craigslist posting “I” need a home:

Hi,
Some information on your “I”.

In 1952, in the fields of Latah, a crash occurred of unknown origin.
Government officials were quick to cover up the crash, saying it was an
experimental aircraft.
I was on the team of investigators who recovered the remains of the
“aircraft”. I am here to tell you the piece of material you have is of
extraterrestrial origin.

Jason “Blake” Thompson and Rolland S. MacDougal were also on the team. We
recovered the bodies of 12 very small – 2.5 feet high “aliens”. All
deceased.
It is very clear to me that you hold in your possession, on of the original
parts to the ships interstellar drive. It may look innocent, but do not be
deceived!
With the correct voltage and amperes, the device you hold can transport you
into parts of our galaxy the you will never return from.
That is what happened to my two colleagues.

Please contact your local AIT (Alien Investigation Team) and have the object
removed with the utmost care!

Sincerely,
A concerned ex-government wasp.
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HI,

Just by chance,does the beautiful lady come with the I ? LOL
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hi, I’m not interested, but the ‘i’ looks like an ‘h’ to me if you looked at it sideways. I honestly think it is an ‘h’. Hopes that helps a bit. My opinion is that it used to be a store name sign.
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I would like to thank you for the laugh…That is a very funny ad, especially the Vanna white pose.

I would also like to challenge your perception of the letter “I” you have in the photo and possibly blow your mind altogether….

If you lay it on it’s side it actually might be a short, fat “H” ?!?
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just in case you were wondering that could have been used as a beer pong table those are perty much the exact demensions of an official table.

you might have luck getting rid of it near college campuses
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This is not goodbye, dear I, for I am sure we will visit you again soon.