I have decided to dabble in consumer advocacy. I will start small, of course. Ralph Nader can attach the Chevy Corvairs, SUV’s, and the two-party political systems of the world. I will stick to the small stuff: yuppie instant hot cereals with poor preparation instructions.

My first chance as an advocate came yesterday, when from my kitchen I heard the following fateful words:
“Aaron! Quit pouring water on the cat!”
This was followed shortly by
“How in the HELL am I supposed to make this crap?”
This was from my wife. Since she is a Mormon, and does not normally swear, I knew this was serious. Or that she had been spending too much time around me again.
“What’s wrong, dear?” I asked, wandering into the kitchen.
“It’s this stupid oatmeal. It doesn’t say how to make it. Do YOU see any instructions on it?” she asked, thrusting the bulk box of thirty-two packets of instant oatmeal at my face.

I eat Quaker Oats Quick-1 Minute oatmeal, or a generic equivalent. No matter what brand it is, I can mix one part oatmeal to two parts water or milk, microwave it on high for about two minutes, and expect a decent bowl of oatmeal. How tough could a packet of instant oatmeal be?
“Cook it however you usually do,” I said. “You mix in, what, half a cup of milk and microwave it for two minutes, right?”
“Wrong,” she answered. “It depends on the brand. Some, I add a third a cup, some half a cup, some a quarter, some three quarters, and some even a full cup. If I add too much, it’ll take forever to cook and be runny. If I add too little, it’ll suck it all up and become a rock. This stuff is worthless!”

At this point I went back to examining the box. Pretty labeling, lots of branding, extolling the virtues of a low fat, high oatmeal diet, complete with study results. Four different nutrition fact panels (one for each type of oatmeal contained within), but no prep instructions, unless you count the line “just add hot water and enjoy!”. So I did the only thing a sensible person would do: I took the box to my study and promised my wife I would get answers. The company’s web address was printed on the side, and within twenty seconds, I was on their site.

Explain navigation, lack of information.

My email to them:

Dear Nature’s Path,

I recently purchased a box of your Organic Instant Hot Oatmeal Variety Pack, and was somewhat surprised to discover that there does not appear to be any instructions for preparation anywhere on or in the package (okay, there is the rather vague sentence fragment “just add hot water and enjoy!”, but I would enjoy it more if I didn’t end up with runny oatmeal). The front and back sides of the outer cardboard box are printed with your label/branding. The shorter side panels both contain ingredient lists, your quality guarantee, nutrition facts, and some references. The top once again contains labeling, and the bottom includes a barcode and date. Nowhere on the box are there instructions for preparation.

Inside the box are 32 packets of oatmeal, labeled with your brand name, organic certification, and the type of oatmeal. Nowhere on the individual packets are there instructions for preparation (I even ripped one open to examine the inside of the packet, in case someone came up with the amusing idea of printing the preparation instructions inside of there).

I removed all 32 packets, hoping perhaps to find a loose instruction sheet. All I found was that I had an empty cardboard box and 32 packets of oatmeal. My cat loves the box. So, do I add half a cup of milk/water per packet? 3/4 cup of milk/water per packet? While I applaud your efforts to help people think for themselves, I would appreciate a little more input here. Thank you.

Their response:

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us. I am sorry that the directions were missed on our Hot Oatmeal packaging.

Add 2/3 – 3/4 cup boiling water, stir, let stand 3 minutes
OR
Add the same amount of water and cook on high 45-60 seconds, stir, let stand for 2-3 mintues.

Regards,
Michelle

Conclusion:
Okay, so their instructions are a bit more vague than most, but they responded the same day, and the kids didn’t starve. And the oatmeal isn’t bad.

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