Never ever use Heritage Financial Service. For anything. The female MHUD (once again, Mormon-Human Underground Dweller) is screaming and crying (can you guess that she was a high school drama queen?) because another promised closing day has been cancelled. There was something about changing her diaper and spoon-feeding her baby food, because she’s done, can’t […]
Hey hey hey Friday. I should be hard at work, but my head is killing me and sitting up makes me want to puke. Nothing like a spinning world. I wanted to write something thought-provoking, or at least interesting, but after this, what else is there to say? For anyone too lazy to follow the […]
We’re almost halfway through April, and I just had the third idiot this month try to crash into me. Unlike the last one, this guy (gal?) wasn’t yapping on a cell phone, but still refused to accept that the little yellow lines that are drawn on the pavement have any meaning. What’s so tough about […]
Is it just me, or has the phrase “Jumping the shark” (and it variations) jumped the shark? When local columnists start using it as part of their common dialogue, I think the shark has been jumped, we’ve reached a tipping point, Elvis has left the building and it is time to consider the phrase clichéd […]
Is it just me, or are people getting larger? As should be obvious by now, I’ve been traveling a bit for work lately, which involves a lot of time flying on United and Alaska. United is great because I am a Mileage Plus member and generally get bumped up into business or first class. Alaska, […]
I moved to Idaho for several reasons, four seasons being an important one. It is now early January, the snow has long melted away, and I am suffering through 50 degree weather. What the hell happened to my winter? I went south to California for three days and came back to a rainy hell not […]
Let me tell you what I want, what I really really want . . . well, first and foremost, I really really want to get that damned song out of my head. I really really want all shows that require a laugh track to remind you that they are supposed to be comedies to be […]
I think we are officially at war. Yesterday, I didn’t let the cat loll across my lap and keyboard as I tried to work. This morning I discovered my wallet floating in the dog’s water bowl. Pretty keen trick for a beast with no opposable thumbs, but I’ve got the higher brain function. I think. […]
I have a raging headache today, so no exciting entry discussing the contents of my belly button. I’d like to go back to bed, but it’s already 4 p.m., so what’s the point? Okay, time to do something. Related Images:
I don’t know if it was the magazine or the statement, but my wife did not like me handing her the adverts for more. I handed her the envelope and said “Dear, I think this is for you . . . it’s a magazine for old broads.” In return, she hit me and reminded me […]
