So, what the hell is bugging me today? So many things to choose from. While I try to think a bit here, one thing that made me LMAO — WTF. Okay, focus. I like kangaroos. They make great belts. And stew. Oh that’s right — I was going to complain about vehicle license fees. We’re showing greater fiscal responsibility here in California by reducing our license fees a bit, even though it completely screws things like fire and police departments. WTF!? What’s more important? — shaving a few bucks on the price of the VLF for a HumVee, or having someone to go to when it gets jacked? Okay, I could use the money I saved to buy another tank of gas. Now that’s a comfort.

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Saddam Hussein has been captured. Whoopee. I can sleep easier now knowing that America is safe once again. Oh wait — it was Osama bin Laden, not Saddam Hussein, who was in charge of the attacks on America. Saddam Hussein was a vicious, American supported dictator who rushlessly ran his country and violated U.N. sanctions. Osama bin Laden was an American-supported terrorist who was connected to the 9/11 bombings, and is still free. Well, at least we got somebody, even if there was no terrorist connection.
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Another reality show series ended, and I still don’t care who won. I’ve tried to watch. Really, I have! But I just cannot seem to care. Now if we combined a few, that might be interesting. How about “Who wants to marry a leech-licking millionaire castaway survivor?”? 12 lesbian, 1 post-op trannie, and a man, stuck on an island together for 13 weeks. He gets $1 million if he marries one of them. Whomever he marries gets $1.5 million. But, he has to rely on their kindness for food and water, and they have to do exciting challenges like wrestle in vats of leeches and lime gelatin, drink freshly ground pig spleens, and put up with his stories of what a great football player he was in high-school. Now THAT I might watch.

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I have twelve computers, but I must say that my favorite is my iMac. Not even the various Windoze systems can beat it for totally useless and user-unfriendly error messages. While shutting the machine down the other day, I got the following error:

“Insufficient memory for requested action. Please close come applications and try again.”

The machine then locked up, with nothing noticeable happening other than the stupid spinning cursor. Spinning.

WTF? How do you close applications if the machine is completely locked up? With a 12-gauge? And how much memory does it take to shut down? Oh well. Next time I’ll know better than to run two applications at once on the machine. Or stick with my Linux boxes.

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Genius. Criminal. Malcontent. Marriage cures all. What is the link between the decline in criminal behavior and marriage? Is it that the miscreant is finally getting a little on a regular basis? That his will has been crushed by the weight of responsibility? That it’s just too damned much effort supporting both a wife/family and an exciting life of crime? Whatever the reasons, perhaps it is time to consider marriage as a crime-fighting tool. We get a solution to overcrowded, overpriced prisons, and the criminal gets a nice stable family to help straighten him out. It may sound crazy, but surely it is no less so than using marriage to fight poverty.
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It has been a week now since FedEx delivered a package that was destined for me. Too bad they somehow missed the destination address by 20 miles. In their defense, while the address they delivered to was in a different town, with a different zip code and a completely different street and street number, at least the street numbers both started with a 1 and had four digits. Never mind that the following three digits were all different, and that the address they have listed on their site as having delivered the package to is fictional, at least they tried.
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It’s a foggy morning, and the bumblebees are happily buzzing away at the yellow flowers outside my window. A less lazy writer than myself would learn what that plant is called, so that he or she could better describe it. I am not a less lazy writer, which probably explains why I make money programming, not writing. How about a little online quiz? And I only got two wrong — woo-hoo!!! Kinda makes me wish I were still in the service . . .

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It’s good seeing people doing their part for the war effort. In WWII, we had scrap-metal drives, ration cards, and war bonds. For the Iraq war, it’s half-priced sex. Do you think they’ll call it “Operation Enduring Erection”?

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So, this is a blog. This is only a blog. Were this an actual anything else, you would not be here. Once I get the style issues worked out, I’ll link this sucker up under my news section, and start blogging! Until then, I guess I’ll have to go back to shaving the cat for entertainment.

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On the off-chance that anyone actually looks at this — I will no longer be updating my news section. Now that I have joined the popular kids and set up my own blog, I am going to put my news there. So there. Quit reading this, damn it! Oh, in case you didn’t click on the link above, the new news is at <https://oliphantparts.org/>

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