Moonstone on a foggy morning

A few days in Humboldt, enjoying the September weather. Warmer than home, and much more moist. A walk in the woods is an adventure in furry feces. Every pathway is dotted, clotted with turds in various states of decay. Curbing your dogs is not a concept embraced in the mildew-encrusted wilderness of Humboldt. Westhaven has changed so much, but is still home for me. Someday, when I am willing to assault my sinuses daily with the spore-filled air, I will return on a more permanent basis.

Egrets on Little River

New construction is popping up everywhere. Or maybe I just don’t remember the houses that used to be there.

Blue House

Had I been more motivated, I could have done an entire series of these fuzzy little wonders. Alas, my laziness kicked in and all you get is the one.

What can brown do for you?

Okay, two.

Fern and Fuzzy Turd

The trees on my parents’ property have been suffering lately. An apple tree had cracked down the center and was being held together with Gorilla Glue and ropes. A plum had been sat upon by a bear, who then proceeded to crap all over it. Thanks, bear. And here is a redwood that my dad backed into with a tractor.

A taped tree is a happy tree

I wish I were a whale

I missed a few things while in Humboldt, apparently. There’s a BMW dealership in McKinleyville now, which just boggles the mind for those of us who grew up near there. I’m sure there is more, but I was busy and not all that observant.

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This is why we need stronger immigration laws and fewer border fences. When you waste all of your money and time defending from the hordes of gardeners and day laborers stealing all the jobs we weren’t going to do anyway, you don’t have anything left over for the REAL threat.

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Oooh, look at the pretty butterfly!

I shall call him lunch.

Tastes like chicken!

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I keep reading how the MSM, liberals, centrists, intellectuals and “intellectual” conservatives are all in the tank for Obama. That doesn’t leave much for McCain’s tank. McCain seems to have the crackhead and skinhead vote locked down, as well as the ultra-right religious vote. The glaring difference I see here is that Obama’s tank is united by a desire for something better and McCain’s tank is coalescing around a shared hatred of the different.

I imagine Obama’s tank to be a well-cared for tropical aquarium. All the pretty fish swim amongst the coral and anenomes. As befits the candidates, the McCain/Palin tank is a leaking septic tank. So, are you a turd, or a thing of beauty?

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And now, for your viewing pleasure, the original I.

I think it looks a little better with some love and acrylics.

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Obama/Biden may have the support of the NEA, what with his highfalutin’ beliefs in knowledge and learnin’ and all that, but at least McCain/Palin still have the witch doctors and homicidal meth-lovin’ rednecks on his side. So, is the “real America” the teachers or the tweakers? I’d prefer to think that teachers are more representative.

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Last night was the coming out party for our I. She was beaten and tattered, abandoned in our back shop. Unable to care for her, we had to give her up in September. After a few days on Craigslist, drawing out the crazies, we were contacted by Tiffany, a Spokane artist. Tiffany planned on painting the I with things that begin with the letter I, which seemed a much better choice than my plan on continuing to hurl words that begin with F at the I every time I had to move her out of the way.

Tiffany and her partner came by a few days later and took the I home with them. All was quiet until last week, when we received the invitation to the Incognito I Party, held in Neato Burrito. Being the great patrons of the arts that we are, and knowing that the Baby Bar was just down the hall, we drew on our moustaches and headed out to the party. It was great fun, although one of us (not me) had a few too many drinks and spent the night in the bath tub.

So, what are the I words? Well, there are Insects, Ice Cream, Imprisoned (bird), Incandescent Idea, Iron, Identical Twins Innertubing, Implant (teeth), Indian girl with Internal Organs, Impala In Love with Indian Girl, Incognito (girl disguised as furry monster), Inhaler (in hand of Indian girl with internal organs) and Idaho. I’ll leave it to you to put the label to the pictures. I also apologize for the flare, but it was quite dim in the I’s new home, and I couldn’t use just ambient light. I think the I is quite happy. And if I can find the original photos, I can show you her humble beginnings.

Here are the responses that failed to bed the I, from our Craigslist posting “I” need a home:

Hi,
Some information on your “I”.

In 1952, in the fields of Latah, a crash occurred of unknown origin.
Government officials were quick to cover up the crash, saying it was an
experimental aircraft.
I was on the team of investigators who recovered the remains of the
“aircraft”. I am here to tell you the piece of material you have is of
extraterrestrial origin.

Jason “Blake” Thompson and Rolland S. MacDougal were also on the team. We
recovered the bodies of 12 very small – 2.5 feet high “aliens”. All
deceased.
It is very clear to me that you hold in your possession, on of the original
parts to the ships interstellar drive. It may look innocent, but do not be
deceived!
With the correct voltage and amperes, the device you hold can transport you
into parts of our galaxy the you will never return from.
That is what happened to my two colleagues.

Please contact your local AIT (Alien Investigation Team) and have the object
removed with the utmost care!

Sincerely,
A concerned ex-government wasp.
=======================================================

HI,

Just by chance,does the beautiful lady come with the I ? LOL
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hi, I’m not interested, but the ‘i’ looks like an ‘h’ to me if you looked at it sideways. I honestly think it is an ‘h’. Hopes that helps a bit. My opinion is that it used to be a store name sign.
=======================================================

I would like to thank you for the laugh…That is a very funny ad, especially the Vanna white pose.

I would also like to challenge your perception of the letter “I” you have in the photo and possibly blow your mind altogether….

If you lay it on it’s side it actually might be a short, fat “H” ?!?
=======================================================

just in case you were wondering that could have been used as a beer pong table those are perty much the exact demensions of an official table.

you might have luck getting rid of it near college campuses 🙂
=======================================================

This is not goodbye, dear I, for I am sure we will visit you again soon.

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It’s the end of the season, and we are actually a week ahead of schedule this year. The yard is leaf-blown, but the pool is covered and winterized. I’ve performed the annual blowjob (shut it, you pervs!) on the sprinklers and backyard faucets. The gazebo cover, or what is left of it, has been packed away with the chairs and toys and everything else outdoorsy. My yard looks so nice right now. If only I could convince the kids not to unpack anything when spring comes.

We may be ahead of schedule this year, but so is winter. It’s too damned cold out there. We decided to splurge and get some new windows this year, but they won’t be installed for a few more weeks, which means we may have several exciting days battling snowdrifts in the living room and elsewhere as the windows are installed. Fun!

If only election season would end, I would be a happier man. I’ve grown tired of listening to McCain/Plain supporters shouting that Obama’s a commie muslim socialist terrorist antichrist who is going to steal all of our guns and money, rape our white women and bring down the country from within. If those are the voices of “real America,” then I wish that he were all those things, if only to get them to shut the hell up. Every day it gets a little harder to believe that the phrase intellectual conservative wasn’t always an oxymoron.

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Oh, and to Cal Thomas and the rest of you halfwits who think a lame attempt to paint the Obama candidacy as a religious movement that somehow threatens your Christianity, go eat a bag of dicks. Those of us on the left and center are not the ones calling Obama “the one” or “The Messiah”, that’s you. We just consider him to be a qualified candidate for President of the United States. You’ve chosen to use imagery from your religion to ridicule the man, which only belittles yourself and your religion. Perhaps it is time for you to start practicing your faith rather than using it as a weapon.

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It was like Christmas, the Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve all rolled into one when I refreshed 538 and Intrade last night before going to bed. McCain, as can still be seen today, is down to less than a 4% chance of winning this thing. I am still hoping to see McCain pick up under 100 electoral votes, as I think that would be an awesome repudiation of the hate, dishonesty and just plain evil that he has chosen to represent and display this election. Even better would be Obama winning Arizona. It’s still a little early to break out my party hat, but not too early to get a bit drunk on hope.

My local paper, which recently laid off most of its editorial staff in anticipation of a loss in revenues (thereby guaranteeing that I will cancel my subscription in anticipation of a lost in actual reporting and news quality), came out in support of McCain a few weeks back. They felt that McCain’s experience made him the better candidate, regardless of what he might have become lately. While that might have been a halfway decent argument eight years ago, it is indefensible now.

Both Obama and McCain are highly intelligent people, but only one has a temperament to lead. Obama has been consistently level-headed, McCain not so much. McCain has been willing to abandon his principles and integrity to attack Obama, spreading a message of fear and hate, Obama not so much. Obama has shown a willingness to look at things from all sides and make a reasoned decision. McCain has shown a willingness to emulate the old man shouting at clouds. I am not generally angry with clouds, so I hav to call this one for Obama. As shown by the constant fuckupery (no, I haven’t trademarked that word, so feel free to use it, with or without attribution) of our current administration, an inability to deal with nuances is vital in our leadership. Another four years of blind adherence to a belief in black and white is just going to make things worse. Given that we are heading for, if not already in, a recession or even depression, do we want to spend another four years making things worse? Or should we start trying to fix things now? I’m thinking now might be the time to start.

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