I still can’t decide; was Kosinski describing the W presidency, or the upcoming McSleasy presidency?
“It’s for sure a white man’s world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I’ll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th’ ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you’ve gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!”
— Louise, in Being There

Yes, it’s good to be white in America.

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It’s hard to take McCain seriously when he talks about reform and economic policy, especially in reference to the current housing and financial crises that we are facing. Is he unaware that these crises can be blamed almost completely on legislation sponsored in part by his former campaign co-chair and economic advisor, Phil Gramm?

Phil Gramm, one of the geniuses who brought us the Enron Loophole and the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act*, which gutted the protections provided by the Glass-Steagall Act from nineteen-thirty-whatever . . . hmmm, what was that event called that the Glass-Steagall Act was a response to, and supposed to help prevent from happening again? It’s on the tip of my tongue . . . rhymes with “fate regression” . . . oh well, I’ll figure it out at some point.

Thank you, John McCain. Thank you Phil Gramm. And thank you to whichever party has been in power for the past 8 years for allowing these crises to keep building, providing us all with a deep fisting by the invisible hand of the market. If it weren’t for your awesome work, we would not have the stellar performances demonstrated by great corporations like Enron, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Tyco and WorldCom.

*Yes, I am aware that then-President Bill Clinton, a Democrat, was the Idiot In Chief who signed off on this. I shall forever remember him as the president of blowjobs and bailouts.

UPDATE, end of day(ish): Wow, what a day. It’s a good thing the “fundamentals of our economy are strong”. I’d hate to see what McCain considers a bad economy. I think it’s time to invest a few more dollars in hope with a donation to Obama. It’s not like my money will be worth anything if McCain wins.

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Oh goodie, a harshly worded memo. The Palin/McCain campaign attacks with lies and distortion and the Obama/Biden campaign issues a huffy memo. I feel good about our chances of having a President Obama now. Will Canada accept me as a political refugee yet?

Eight years ago, the most important issue was which candidate we most wanted to have a beer with. Four years ago, it was which candidate we wanted to have a beer with. Now the important issue is which candidate do we want to pray with? If we the people believe leadership is defined by crashing planes and talking to god, and extensive foreign policy is defined as being able to see Russia from a flyspeck island off our coast, we’re fucked. Hell, Mohammed Atta had the piloting skills of McCain and the talking to god of Sarah, plus much more extensive world travel. If he weren’t dead, he’d be the perfect Republican candidate.

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I have an atlas. It is 25 years old and a lot of countries have changed since then. Still, I’ve looked through it and know facts about such exciting places as Checkozlovakia, and the U.S.S.R.. I’ve seen pictures of the countries even! Isn’t it about time I get nominated for Vice President of the World? Heck, my daughter, with her shiny new atlas containing Russia, the Czech Republic and other new countries could be my running-mate. Not only has she seen the world, but she’s seen the new version. Lilmonster for President of the New World! If it helps our election chances, we will even run on the Republican Flat Earth platform.

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The eighties are BACK!!! Journey, Heart and Cheap Trick will be here in concert on September 22. It’s time to feather my hair and wear my white sports socks all the way up to my knees. Good times . . .

If I weren’t saving up for a Rancilio Silvia and PID mod (and such a cheap bastard), I’d drag the family out to relive my teen years. Hmmm . . . I wonder if the wife would be willing to put off new tires for winter for an awesome concert experience . . .

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The McCain/Palin campaign has been taking a lot of heat for using Heart’s “Barracuda”. The honorable thing for them to do is quit using the song and find another. And lucky for them, I think I’ve found the perfect campaign song for the McCain/Palin ticket: Anthony B’s “Mr. heartless”

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Well, I just threw away $100.00, paying off an Internet panhandler. I’m tired of thinking that the creepy old gnome and the religious loon might win this election thing that is coming up (or so I hear), so I donated my coffee money for the next month to that nice colored fella with the old white hipster guy running mate. Okay Barry, you’d better win this thing, or I’m going to need my coffee money back.

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Wow. Just, wow. So while trying to figure out how a man who brings his mum with him to his political rallies can be considered a maverick (Maverick: -noun 1. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother. Has to be this, since he’s definitely been branded Republican and sure as hell isn’t a loner or dissenter), I decided to flip through the local entertainment rag and came across an ad for a Foreigner concert at one of the local casinos. Foreigner, presented by the AARP. I’ll only admit to owning a single Foreigner album (hey, it was the eighties!), but that’s the music of my teen years, not music for the elderly! Next they’ll be sponsoring Journey, Styx and Billy Squire and I’ll just have to add tennis balls to the legs of my walker and accept that I am no longer up and coming but on the downhill slide. Sigh.

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I feel icky. I tried watching Giuliani’s speech at the RNC, but couldn’t make it through. It’s hard to believe people actually look up to this fuckface. In the few minutes I watched, he claimed that the phrase “Islamic terrorist” was an insult to terrorists, that John McCain’s skill in crashing jets and committing adultery made him an American Hero, that the budget-busting borrow and spend approach of Bush somehow equates fiscal responsibility and that being the mayor of Wasilla, AK made you ready to take on the role of Commander in Chief on day one.

He apparently hasn’t read a newspaper or watched the news in the past 7 years, because he also thought Bush was battling terrorism rather than fucking around in Iraq, a country that had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks that Giuliani so gets off on. Calling him a rat-faced bastard is an insult to rats and bastards. And anything with a face. As bad as Giuliani was and is, though, he isn’t half as bad as the sycophantic turds in the audience cheering him on. If this is the face of America, we are thoroughly screwed.

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The season, barely begun, has unofficially ended. Fall is here, in fog and rain and a heavy coat of grey. The pool, infrequently used, is leaf-blown and much too cold to swim in. In a normal summer, if there is such a thing, we open in mid-May and close in mid-September. Our last good swim is on Labor day. Unless there is a sudden upswing in temperature, we will be hot-tubbing for Labor day. I missed the summer this year. Both weeks.

The kids did all the cool things I never did as a kid: Went on a cruise to Alaska with grandma, went to camp, lounged by the pool (on the few warm days) and played way too many video games. I wanted to go to camp as a kid, but never did. Now that I am older, camp has a weird association for me. I think not of kids run amok, but of those lovely camps that clipped off so much of my family tree on my father’s side during WWII. Makes sending the kids off to camp somewhat creepy. Fortunately, the focus these days seems to be on crafts and playing, not forced labour and finding new ways to kill people en masse.

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